i <3 early mornings

orientation tomorrow @ 8:30 AM :(

AHHH it's coming. i still have 9 french chapters to get through. bleh.

KATIE UPDATE YOUR BLOG BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND STICK A CARROT UP YOUR NOSE!

i hate titles..

hmm, i feel as though i have french coming out of my ears. i have 11 days left, so i'm studying like crazy. i still have about 13 chapters of work to get through. i'm hoping that i can do 2 a day or so and then have about 4 days left for review. :[ i'm getting scared as this beginning of school inches closer and closer. orientation is on wednesday.

guess what? chelsea came over today. she was supposed to come at 2 pm, but there was some weird thing that happened with soccer. she came at 8:30 pm instead. ugh..go figure. she's got a crazy schedule because she plays two soccer teams.. select and eastlake. COOL, man.

i feel like i'm very confused about who i am, if that makes any sense at all. i don't know what i want and i feel like everything that i do is just another chore - there's nothing in my life that i really love. like, i don't really believe in god (sorry. but nobody can really change that. i'm not a bad person, i just...dont feel any connection or whatever you would like to refer to it as) and i dont have some amazing sport or something. i dont know how many people feel / have felt this way. i dont have an instrument. i mean. idk. i guess that sometimes when i feel like i'm doing nothing that i really WANT to do.. it's like, what am i working for exactly when there's not much to look forward to once this work is done? do you know what i mean? i dont have a drive anymore. it's kind of like i'm dragging my feet through life. maybe i'm too young to be saying that. i don't know, but they do say youth is wasted on the young. and if that's true, then i'm definitely doing a good job of wasting it thus far.

oopdate

I went to Becca's house today. It was quite fun, and I got to see her pig. I will post a picture of me and the pig, Pongo, sometime.


I'm getting really into industrial, like Nine Inch Nails, The Narcosis Design, Stayte, Coil, etc - all that stuff that sounds kind of screwy..too bad I'm gonna get called a goth for it. OH WELL! now i just need some o' them industrial boots and macabre like art pieces in my bedroom to complete it! kidding.

there's nothing else to say. except that i got the number of days wrong - there are like 15 days left..including today..until school starts. i think. possibly.

my update of pants

katie, i know you're doing the college thing now, but update before i come and stick carrots up your nose while you sleep. i need to KNOWwwwW things!

i'm beginning to panic about french. only 17 days including today left until school begins and i still have 15 chapters of the textbook to get through, some of which i have NEVER done. it's awesome!! yay!!

kaitlin and annie came over on thursday night or something and slept over, which was really great. we watched scary movie 4, which is hilarious. they're always hilarious. or at least, i think so. we got our new couch! it is grand. and. i was really tired on friday, as was expected. annie talked to us a lot about her surgery and stuff (she was really tired and everything last time we saw her). .. ...it was really rough (one example: she had a hallucination that she was being held captive in the hospital and started ripping out her IV..she also hallucinated that the room was full of chocolate cupcakes. and her hands (this one wasn't a hallucination) swelled up so much that they had to cut the hospital bracelet), but she has this awesome scar on her back. and she can feel two halves of the back now because they sliced the muscle. which is gross and awesome. yeah. kaitlin drew a monkey on my whiteboard.

i'm probably going to becca's tomorrow and i'm gonna finally see her pig, pongo. or something. haha.

YEAH MAN

hello, i'm crazy.

guh. guh guh ghuh.g hgughg. GUHgh.

i have a huge pile of reading that i need to finish. not for anything, but for me, haha. i'm starting up piano again and working my way through french. i think that sophomore orientation is aug. 30th, and that's when we get our schedules. i'm excited/anxious/slightly irritated, haha. a lot of people have already gotten their advisory notices in the mail (advisory teacher/homeroom thing, basically). i still haven't, ugh. i haven't seen any of my friends in two weeks. they've all been out of town/i've been out of town.

and there's this band that you've been seen on my myspace page like 505084 times since the beginning of the year (or maybe you haven't)... they're called the narcosis design. they're industrial-random and i've really liked their noise since like january or maybe a little earlier. anyway, point being that i really want to see them play a show. unfortunately they're from LA/Orange County/that area...and not seattle, land of starbucks and pine needles. they're kind of unique, at least to me. hahaha. i don't know. anyway i'm really getting frustrated at this point, it having been about nine or so months. anyway. if you really like nine inch nails. or skinny puppy... etc, (which i'm guessing you don't, but i don't know who the heck reads this!) yeah i think that you can hear the influence. even..stuff like u2. ha.

i also really want to see nine inch nails, circa survive, eighteen visions, the strokes, underoath, panic! at the disco, etc play. i wouldn't mind seeing coldplay, but i watched one video of them and it was REALLY bad. so i don't really know. i'm definitely seeing from first to last, atreyu, every time i die, and chiodos on nov. 14, though. yahoo. my dad was having issues with it though..for awhile he seemed to want becca's mom to accompany us into the pit... ...........haha, ummm..no.

soccer started, and i'm kind of annoyed because i wasn't really aware that i had been signed up until a month ago or something, but whatever it doesn't really matter i guess. first practice was today and guess what? we're focusing on core conditioning again! god i love my life. i don't enjoy this sport anymore. i want to take art courses. film. photography. something else that doesn't make me terribly sweaty etc. OH WELL! i'm done complaining about it as of...now.
i'm kind of just rambling and i feel like i'm in a pretty strange mood. so yeah. sorry if this sounds like some crazy person.

my friendship with chelsea is kind of weird now, and to tell you the truth, i don't even really miss her that much anymore. i'm just kind of sick of not seeing her, i guess you could say.

for your reference. page. his voice kind of makes me listen, hah, and he seems kinda crazy but that's okay. kind of like trent reznor. if you know anyone who might like them, tell them. because i think they deserve a larger fanbase.

California Trip

Day 1: Thursday
Slept over at Kaitlin's the night before. We watched V for Vendetta, which is a very good movie, by the way. I never guessed that it was originally a graphic novel. Was tired, got in the car, ate meat at Arby's and became very sad for awhile. Went on the freeway, not the coast. Saw a lot of cows and small towns in need of renovation. Stopped at Applebee's and had a pretty good dinner. Stopped for the night in a nice hotel room that was pretty small but still nice (free internet access, free fridge, really nice bed, two tvs)...only problem: the pull out couch bed might as well not have had a mattress; the springs...hahaha. It was hilarious until we actually tried to get to sleep.

Day 2: Friday
More driving, more cows, more sleeping on Tessa...accidentally. We arrived in Sacramento in the afternoon and had dinner at Olive Garden with my grandparents and uncle + girlfriend from Oahu. They took quite a few pictures in the parking lot. Better beds.

Day 3: Saturday
Drove around and had lunch at a Japanese restaurant with awesome, awesome salted salmon. Kept getting soy sauce in my tea. Looked at old places, neighborhoods, etc with parents including Mira Loma, Grandma's house (which has some pretty but very different landscaping), etc. It wasn't too "fun", but that's perfectly fine because I know that it was important for my parents and they enjoyed it. That evening from 6-12 pm my parents went to their reunion bar/grill thing. Tessa and I had room service that was pretty good and hung out for a long time in the hotel room.

Day 4: Sunday
Had brunch at a hotel with reunion people and parents. Visited Jill's (do you guys know Jill?) house in the making. Drove to Charlie and Linda's (do you know them?) and wound up sleeping over there with three others. It was a good time. Everyone's nice.

Day 5: Monday
Felt very sick. Had jamba juice again. Drove to San Francisco. Pretty nice hotel overlooking city and In N Out, which is actually pretty cool. Looked around and had a snack at a seafood thing by the water...walked...walked....walked...had dinner at McCormick & Something or something Seafood, which was really good! :) Went to Ghiradelli (?) Square and bought chocolate. Checked out an art gallery and went back to the hotel.

Day 6: Tuesday
Went to Chinatown and had dim sum which was good but i ate meat and felt especially horrible and nasty afterward when we walked by all those wonderful shops with dead...animal corpse meat hanging in the windows. and fish being thrown into bins before slaughter. wow. i hate this. wow. i almost cried, haha. Started the drive home. Went on crazy winding roads that took forever around Bodega. Stayed in Fort Bragg in a little cottage because that's all that they had left, but it was cool and really nice to have space. Had dinner at this cool restaurant that was kind of "innovative" (said by my mom). Went to Safeway and got ingredients to make popcorn on the stove and came "home" to find that we actually DID have a microwave. Almost finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Tessa snored.

Day 7: Wednesday
Driving continued. Roads gradually became straighter and straighter...yay. Had pizza for lunch which was okay. Couldn't stay at this one hotel so we went to another and it turned out to be really nice. Went out and had thai food for dinner and it was great. My parents bought wine at this nice little place that was about to close. We slept.

Day 8: Thursday
Last day of driving home. Pretty much drove the whole day but stopped for lunch in Newport, Oregon. Tessa and I got CLAM chowder that included BACON bits + a cup of mashed potatoes. But I'm doing pretty good so far with the trytonoteatmeatpolicy. In the past two days I've eaten a couple things of sushi, the clam chowder with bacon bits, and fried rice that had some crab in it. that's definitely an improvement in comparison to my scary carnivorous days. :( anyway. I don't THINK that we stopped for dinner. No, we didn't. We drove home and had sushi and pasta (yep). I'm so glad to be home..I was really homesick...

Working through French, finally.

Oh yes, and as a side note, I am going to From First to Last/Atreyu/Chiodos/Every time I die on Nov. 14 even if I have to blow myself to pieces and rip out 500 walls. You know what I mean.

I also should mention that I love Nine Inch Nails and have been particularly itchy lately.