i hate titles..

hmm, i feel as though i have french coming out of my ears. i have 11 days left, so i'm studying like crazy. i still have about 13 chapters of work to get through. i'm hoping that i can do 2 a day or so and then have about 4 days left for review. :[ i'm getting scared as this beginning of school inches closer and closer. orientation is on wednesday.

guess what? chelsea came over today. she was supposed to come at 2 pm, but there was some weird thing that happened with soccer. she came at 8:30 pm instead. ugh..go figure. she's got a crazy schedule because she plays two soccer teams.. select and eastlake. COOL, man.

i feel like i'm very confused about who i am, if that makes any sense at all. i don't know what i want and i feel like everything that i do is just another chore - there's nothing in my life that i really love. like, i don't really believe in god (sorry. but nobody can really change that. i'm not a bad person, i just...dont feel any connection or whatever you would like to refer to it as) and i dont have some amazing sport or something. i dont know how many people feel / have felt this way. i dont have an instrument. i mean. idk. i guess that sometimes when i feel like i'm doing nothing that i really WANT to do.. it's like, what am i working for exactly when there's not much to look forward to once this work is done? do you know what i mean? i dont have a drive anymore. it's kind of like i'm dragging my feet through life. maybe i'm too young to be saying that. i don't know, but they do say youth is wasted on the young. and if that's true, then i'm definitely doing a good job of wasting it thus far.